She walked past me. She was the most amazing thing I had ever seen in my life. She had a way with her walk, smile, and how she looked at me. She kept walking, but as if she knew I had been captivated by her beauty, she turned her head over her right shoulder and smiled. She turned back and walked out the door. How was I to know who she was. I was in love with a stranger. Just a passing girl.
I saw her a few days later at the restaurant we both worked at. 21 and 20 respectively. I avoided her eyes but couldn't help but look at her when she had no idea i was even close. Intimidated by a woman for the first time in my life. Feeling inside me that had never been there before. I wish I could say I was plotting the right thing to say, but no, it was pure fear in my soul that kept me from walking up to her like I had before with countless others. She deserved more than that, but I had nothing more to give.
Finally she walked up to me two days later and said, "hi, I'm Tracy." Her voice floated through the air like a spring breeze. She was amazing. I was tongue tied. After a few deep breaths I managed the words, "Hi, I'm Shanon." And with that, the most amazing story begins.
We found each others company to be amazing. Laughter, smiles, joy filled us both. We had found our best friend. I knew I had found my one and only true love.
She was married and had an incredible 3 year old daughter the day we met. With the advent of this news the possibilities for us immediately vanished. Friendship. Almost a cold word, at least at the time it was.
How could this be? How could the one person on this planet that I have a connection with unlike any else, how could fate play such a cruel joke on me. 21 and just finding my way into adulthood. Enjoying the single life that we all enjoy as we reach our 20's. Why?
We took to spending time together at the park. Just enjoying a sunny day talking about life. Long walks, followed by lunch and maybe sometime together at the mall. Her daughter was always in tow and the three of us began a friendship. The talks were always of her life of becoming an early mom. Me losing parents early in life. Dolls desired. Candy needed. It was a great relationship. A relationship that could never be more.
Being single, I continued to date many women during our time together. Tracy always seemed to get a great thrill out of hearing the escapades of a single 21 year old male. Why? Not sure. But she would laugh at every joke. She would give advise. She would pick ones for me to see again. Little did I know, she was having the same feelings for me. Maybe she was wishing it was her out with me on those nights. Maybe she wished it was her in the stories. I don't know, but she made me feel important as she waited for each new story.
"Where do you go after work?" she asked one day. I told her just out and about in the town. Different bars that friends of mine worked. She suggested that we go together sometime. How could I resist the offer.
